When We Almost Became Illegal Immigrants...

We love South Africa.  We adore this county and these people.  It is HOME to us and we plan to stay FOREVER.  I tell people that they can buy me a gravesite in Ocean View cemetery because I will be buried here (weird I know, sorry).

It seems, however, that South Africa might not love us as intensely as we love them.

We are having some 'visa issues.'  And by visa issues I mean we are about two weeks away from being illegal immigrants instead of helpful missionaries.  We have been on volunteer/visitor visas but have hit a brick wall in government this past year when trying to renew them.  Our long-term plan is to stay in South Africa indefinitely because we feel called here and it is our home, and we plan to get permanent residency and have a plan of how to do it.  We are working with our lawyers on this plan and it looks like many steps but should be easy.

But in the meantime South Africa is not granting us another term of visitor visa, AKA meaning we would need to leave the country to work on this process of permanent residency.  We are not in agreement with the South African government as WE think we should stay HERE while we work out this little 'issue.'

I wish it was a little issue. 

So we have a new immigration expert (first one wasn't as pumped as we needed him to be about us staying in the country) and we have a new plan.  But we need some serious PRAYER and movement of God.

Over the past few months we have prayed and wrestled and talked endlessly about this situation and really sought God about our future here in South Africa.  We truly feel like this is where God wants us.  This will only happen with some serious favor and miraculous work of God.  

Luckily we have a community of friends and family who love prayer and a HUGE GOD who loves to do miracles in our life.

So we ask you, would you pray for us?

Pray that God would lead us to make the right steps in our process.  Pray that our lawyers would fight for us, believe in us, communicate with us, and truly believe that this country is where we need to be?  Pray that we would have DEEP PEACE and TRUST in God as this process works its way out (it will likely take 1-2 years).  Pray that we will see the miraculous hand of God all over this journey.  Pray that God would be GLORIFIED in this struggle and strain?

We are so thankful for our incredible community all over the world that loves us and prays for us.  It is beyond humbling.  We need you now so join us in bringing this need to the throne of God!

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When You Try Again...

When your child has autism, things that are small challenges or goals for normal kids and families are anything but normal for yours.  Not only can it be a challenge but autism can make a normal event downright TRAUMATIZING.

At the end of 2014 we made a trip to the USA for our annual time of fundraising and connecting with family.  We had almost a year of therapy and intervention for Keller and his autism diagnosis and we were feeling encouraged at his progress.  However, the trip was disastrous on many levels.  Keller regressed and was anxious and upset much of the trip.  Those would be my feelings on all levels as well - I was anxious and angry.  I felt like my family and friends only were able to see the worst version of Keller and I was constantly filled with stress.  Truly, more than stress I just felt SAD.  Sad about the reality of autism and unsure of our future.

We came back to Africa, regrouped, refocused, and re-goaled.  Keller got back on track and continued to make significant progress.  We began to prepare for our next trip at the end of 2015.  We prepared Keller, we prepared our family and friends, and we prepared our hearts.  There was lots of work, but can I admit that much of the work was needed IN MY HEART.  There was a part of my heart that was terrified at having to take Keller back to America.  I feared he would regress, I feared he would be anxious, I feared it would be difficult, and I feared I would crumble under the weight of it all.  If Keller limped through the entire four weeks I know I would barely made it out alive.

There was no choice in the matter.  We had to make the trip.  We had to take Keller.  We had to DO IT AGAIN.

And we are on the other side of it all.

Can I just say that SO MUCH OF SPECIAL NEEDS is simply doing it again.  We fall and we fail and we HAVE to try again.  We simply must DO IT AGAIN.

I didn't want to travel across the world with my autistic son but I had no choice.  There are other things, however, that are also difficult with Keller and I do have the choice to try them again.  Often I try and often I do not.  Sometimes I am brave and sometimes the fear overcomes and cripples me.  

Our time in the USA at the end of 2015 was an incredible success for Keller.  He loved being with family, understood each transition and challenge, was incredible and calm on the airplanes, and overall just THRIVED in the USA.  

As he succeeded, so did I.  As he triumphed, so did I.

With children, with special needs, with LIFE, so many times we just have to TRY IT AGAIN.  We can't give up.  We can't be defeated.  We can't be overwhelmed.  We have to try again.

Because when you try again, you have a chance to triumph.  

Don't miss your chance.  

TRY AGAIN.

the Ministry of Motherhood

I am not the first to have this realization, and it's not even my first time having this awakening, but lately my heart has awakened to the utter profundity of the ministry of motherhood.

I have always known I was called for ministry.

When I was in college, one night at a ministry revival I felt God tell me that my life was going to be devoted to the ministry of telling people about Him.  First I planned on being a worship leader and youth pastor, but that quickly fell through when I learned I couldn't play guitar or sing and needed too many naps for youth.  Then I was going to be a young adults pastor, then focused on small groups, then looked mostly at teaching, then teaching in a college setting, then women's ministry, then ministry to the poor, then then then….

Ministry in my world in a common sense of the word continues to evolve in my life and heart; and seems it will not be a place that I arrive in but rather the journey of serving Jesus and others.

And yet, my most profound and important ministry happens every day in my home.  The two beautiful children God has given me and the incredible husband whom I married are my primary ministry   A ministry that is so easy to not take seriously, so easy to overlook, so easy to ignore, so easy to wish away.  Motherhood is the most exhausting, time consuming, frustrating, and soul-stretching ministry I have ever embarked on.  I never knew what a ministry it really would be and what an incredibly great and precious thing God entrusted me with as a mother.  There are few thank-you's and rewards and many times I feel broken in the blaringly clear mistakes I have made.

But motherhood is the place where I see God the most at work, and find myself most forgiven as I fall short of what is needed of me.  God daily shows me love, life and laughter through my children.  Over and over again I am forgiven by my husband and reminded of the beauty of God as I look into my children's eyes.  The ministry is not something still to come but the full plate of today and it is an utter gift from God.

May we joyfully receive what God has given us today; and for me, today I fully embrace the ministry of motherhood.  Thank you Jesus.

Survival and Thrival

The subtitle of this blog post is:

How to travel across the world with your autistic toddler and not die.

We are back in South Africa and SO HAPPY to be home!!  We just finished a whirlwind trip in the USA that we titled #Princetober as we traveled all over the USA.  We found ourselves in Charlotte, North Carolina, Raleigh, North Carolina, Richmond, Virginia, Wilmington, North Carolina and Corinth, Mississippi.  Can you believe there were places we missed out visiting this time?!?  It was a fast and FRUITFUL trip and we are so thankful for the ministry we were a part of while back in our first home.

Much preparation goes into a trip with that much travel, connecting, speaking and ministry, but much of it went into getting our sweet Keller James ready for all the travel and change.  Now being three and on the autism spectrum, uprooting his life for 5 weeks and filling it with great challenges of new social connections and flexibility requirements would ask a lot of him.  We created 'social stories' to explain the plane rides and had lots of books to talk about the entire experience and prepared him as best we could, but eventually we had to just bite the bullet and jump on those airplanes!  I began looking for #AutismAngels around every corner to help make the trek easier and God truly did provide the most kind and supportive people all along.  I had little cards that explained autism and passed them out all over the place and so people knew from the beginning that we might have challenges - but Keller turned out to be a little doll!  He played with dinosaurs, watched movies, talked and laughed, and even slept a bit.  Truly all the travel was NO BIG DEAL and the hours easily went by.  It was MIRACULOUS.  Keller was full of peace and joy the entire way!! 

So here I have some tips on

"How to travel the world with your autistic toddler and not die"

1. DON'T FREAK OUT!!  Yes, every part of your heart and brain wants to DIE even before you leave the door but don't freak!!  Everything is going to be okay, no one is going to die, and worse things have happened!  Be super CHILLED because you CAN!

2. Bring EVERY TOY YOU HAVE.  And every movie.  And EVERY SNACK.  Just do it.  Pack up every carry-on suitcase you have and bring it all on the plane.  You never know what you will need and it's just worth it.  Don't think twice about it.  Be SUPER over-prepared and don't feel bad!

3. Bring FUN new stuff!  New dinosaurs!!  New movies!!  New snacks!!  No, your child with autism probably won't want anything new BUT WHAT IF HE DOES?!?  Then he will be SUPER HAPPY!  Be super HOPEFUL and don't feel bad!

4. TELL EVERYONE YOU SEE ABOUT AUTISM.  Just do it.  You never know what could happen and people might need to give you grace.  Your child might be FINE and then they will praise Him for how well he does!  Your child might have the meltdown of his life and you will need grace!  You might just have a normal toddler who does BOTH and you can teach someone about autism and what it means.  Just talk about it.  LOUDLY.  So other people around you overhear the conversation, you know?  And ignore your husband who thinks you are being ridiculous.  Oh do that last thing for ALL THESE TIPS.  Be crazy friendly to the world and you will be glad you did!

5. PRAY.  Just pray before over your child and for every moment of the trip.  Pray while you are traveling.  Pray for #AutismAngels around every corner.  Pray for favor and ease and grace and beauty.  Just pray for God to be everywhere because how great would that be?!?

And those are the easy steps to go from SURVIVAL mode to THRIVAL mode.  Yes I made up a word.  We talk about survival mode, but what happens when you survive something and actually THRIVE?!?  It's called #ThrivalMode.  It's a GOOD place, a GRACE place, a FULLNESS place, a GOD place.  Thrival is GREAT and it's possible.  God loves taking us from survival to THRIVAL in every challenging place in our lives so look for that place with Him in your difficult situations!

In Chains

“Shake yourself from the dust, rise up, O captive Jerusalem; Loose yourself from the chains around your neck, O captive daughter of Zion.” -Isaiah 52:2

Recently I was invited to be a part of a group going to Pollsmoor Prison to participate in a prayer walk through one of the parts of the prison.  It is a part of Hope Prison Ministries and many people at Hillsong Church are involved in the incredible endeavor.  Monthly they do a prayer walk just to spiritually cover the work they do daily with inmates throughout the prison.  It is hard to know the statistics of the prison, but they are certainly dire.  We spent our evening in the maximum security wing, which was created for 1500 men and presently holds over 4000.  Overcrowding was one problem among many others such as gangsterism, drugs, rape, illnesses such as tuberculosis and suicide.

I had no idea what to expect the night we went, and actually didn’t even know what we were doing until I got there but I have had a deep desire to go to Pollsmoor for years.  Many  men and women we work with and love in Ocean View have been in and out of this prison and I have heard of the darkness that is found within.  There was a long process of checking us into the prison and then we gathered inside for briefing and prayer.  Over 300 Christians came that night to walk and pray which was an incredible thing!  We were briefed on how it would work as there are obviously dangers to being in the prison and advised how to pray for people as we walked.  They instructed us to put up our hands and simply pray and sing as we felt led.

Nothing could have prepared me for what I experienced walking through the prison.

The maximum security is the home of the worst offenders of Cape Town and its surrounds.  These man have committed horrific crimes and done unspeakable things.  Now they spend every minute locked in a crowded and dingy cell.  Being outside these cells made you feel the weight of the darkness and hopelessness that sits heavy in that place.  We sang Christian songs before entering the hallways, but once you reached the hallways of the cells all you could do was pray for dear life.  It felt spiritually dark and was also horribly loud as the inmates shouted at out and poked their hands out of tiny holes or ripped wire windows to grab our hands as we passed.  Some shouted as us things like “Praise God” or “Thank you” and other comments that were crude or obscene.  Others just stared blankly.  Their eyes said so much.  So much pain.  So much darkness.  So much hopelessness.

We walked and prayed for over an hour and my body and heart were exhausted by the end of it.  The experience was a shock to the senses but much greater was the shock to our hearts.  No matter what crimes these men have committed, no human deserved to be locked up in this way.  It was dark and depressing and would be difficult for even the strongest person to find hope in the circumstances.

And yet, somehow I left with hope rustling in my broken heart.  A hope stirred for the men and what God was doing in their lives and all that was still possible in their futures.  On the streets of Ocean View many men and women trick themselves into thinking that they are tough and cool acting like gangsters but there was nothing cool about Pollsmoore Prison.  Being locked up is horrific and it was definitely the end of the road.  Maybe in the dark days of Pollsmoor these men will begin to reach for Jesus as their true light?  Maybe in their search for hope they will find the God who is the creator of all hope?  Maybe in realizing they ruined their own lives they will reach out to the One who has their names written on His book for all eternity?

Hope is never dead, even in the darkest place imaginable.  Hope is alive in Pollsmoor Prison and it’s alive in me.

The Privilege of Tears

This past week during our UNITE bible study, I was in a group with two women who I know very well.  We had listened to a teaching on Romans 6 and were now reflecting on it together.  In our time of taking through it both women broke down in tears.  They were in pain, they were broken, they were ashamed.

I realized in that moment that it was such a privilege to be there to receive their grief and catch their tears.  It is an honor to be friends with these woman and when they open up their hearts and lives to me I know it is not done easily.  The women in my community have experienced so much grief and pain and so many people have rejected them or used their tears to manipulate and rule them.  When they break down in my presence it is because they trust me and I don’t take that lightly.

In order to rebuild our lives, in order to create space for the new and to grow into all God is calling us to be, often we need to let go and dig out all that is causing pain and decay.  This often comes in tears.

So often we hold in the tears and we try to bury the grief and brokenness when truly, it needs to come out in order to find healing.  One of our goals of our UNITE Bible Study is to create a place for women that is SAFE to open up and allow God to heal the hurt places.  We want a place that is safe to laugh, cry, shout, grieve or whatever needs to happen.  When I have a moment with someone and they are allowing pain to leave and God to enter in I know something special is happening.  Safety and trust are a gift.  They cannot be manipulated and when they are present they must be protected.  I am thankful to Jesus for these things in our community of women as we pursue God.

May we all be people who always make space for this healing work in others’ lives, and may we always see the privilege of tears.

Autism continued...

Thought it would be a good time for a little AUTISM UPDATE from the Prince family.

Yep.  Keller still has autism.

Autism is so interesting because it’s not like a bad flu or a hospital stint for a bad infection.  It doesn’t just get better or go away.  While so many people have had trials come and go over the past year and a half, Keller STILL has autism.  We’re still here on the autism train.

Here is the good thing about raising a child with autism.  You eventually rise to the occasion.  You eventually get stronger.  You eventually get use to the therapies and terms and restrictions and charts and patterns and labels.  You grow into it and it becomes your new normal.  Autism world is our normal world now.  That is a good place to be because Keller HAS AUTISM and so we need to live confidently in this world as we navigate.  Every single case of autism is completely unique and so we always have to be very ‘dialed in’ to Keller to make sure we are treating and loving him the best for HIS autism journey.  It can be exhausting but we feel strong in the journey because we are always seeing so much progress and because we are seeing Keller truly come to LIFE.  It’s the product of a LOT of therapy and a LOT LOT of prayer, but Keller is truly coming into himself and he is pure joy.  He is hilarious, hyper, fun, and very active.  He loves life, his friends, his family, DINOSAURS, running and playing outside, school and just LAUGHING.

It’s pretty awesome.

It’s awesome but it’s also still SUPER HARD.  Just because we are making such great progress with Keller and hitting so many goals doesn’t mean that we are there yet.  For every goal we reach there is another one quickly put in its place.  As Keller grows up we often see the ways that he is growing and the ways he is not growing.  I constantly find myself questioning if he is quirky or stubborn or autistic or ALL THREE (likely all three).  It’s a world where we are constantly strategizing and planning and where, if I let myself, I can quickly feel guilty for not doing ENOUGH.  I push these negative feelings away pretty quickly but they surface at times.  Autism is not just a journey but a BATTLE some days for sure.

In the days when I realize it’s a battle I remind myself that I don’t battle alone.  I don’t know how anyone could EVER do the journey of parenting a special needs child apart from Jesus Christ.  He is my power, my life, my peace, my freedom and my hope.  Without him I would be completely undone by autism.  With Christ I am filled with hope and promise in the face of this challenge and EVERY challenge I face.

Yep, Keller still has autism.  But we still have Jesus and the future looks BRIGHT.

My Banner

April 24, 2015

My time serving as a pastor at Ocean View Methodist has recently come to an end and I have been reflecting on the years and all God taught me there. We came to know South Africa as home while serving at that church and it became a home for us and our growing children. Leaving is painful, especially as the future is not clear, but obedience to God is everything and we know He will light the path.

I love to reflect and wrap things up and that is what I did in my last sermon at Ocean View Methodist two weeks ago. I reflected on Exodus 17 where God’s people find themselves in a battle that could only be victorious when Moses’ hands were lifted in prayer. After the battle was won, Moses received a new name for God: Jehovah Nissi or “God is my banner.” God wanted them to remember what He had done for them and that in HIM was always the victory. A banner or flag has been used throughout history to declare a party’s victory or meaning, and it still remains its purpose. I felt led by God to declare what my banners were over my time in Ocean View. If I had a flag to fly about what God taught me while serving his people at OCean View Methodist, what would it be?

My BANNER and my VICTORY in Ocean View would be:

1. We are GROUNDED by the Word of God

We have encountered many challenges during our five years living in Ocean View and walked with many families through their own desperate times. Through these challenges we have seen that ONLY the word of God provides light, hope, and vision. ONLY the Word of God helps His people to see His truth and face and guide through the darkness. Only God’s word speaks fresh into dead situations and total darkness.  There is nothing sweeter, there is nothing richer, there is nothing more true, and there is no other way to hear the heart of God than to go to His Word.  God’s Word is my banner and that is my victory.

2. Our Obedience Brings Blessing

I heard this truth years ago from Beth Moore and it was something I believed I lived by. I have however learned that obedience is truly difficult and calls us not just to outwardly look like we are following Jesus but inwardly as well. I have to completely trust Jesus and give him every part of my life in order to show that I am truly following His heart. It’s about the state of my heart in the follow not just the footsteps I am leaving. Obedience is following HEART AND SOUL and I have learned that while living here. Obedience brings blessing is my banner and my victory.

3. God’s Love Always Wins

When I came to South Africa I thought it was so that I could love the people here, but instead they have taught ME what love really looks like.  In the community of Ocean View there is a great deal of hurt and it is certainly a truth here that ‘hurt people HURT PEOPLE.”  Most often the people we hurt the most are those who love us the most.  This has been true in the families I have served here.  I have personally been hurt and seen them hurt one another, but out of that something has shone through that I didn’t expect.  What defines the people in Ocean View Methodist is not their hurt but truly the way they love even though they have been hurt.  They love despite the hurt.  They love through the hurt.  They love those who least deserve it, including me.  No matter how dark it has gotten in Ocean View I have seen my friends choose love and it has taught me that truly, love ALWAYS WINS.   Love conquering all is my banner and my victory.

I am so thankful for what God has written on my heart and life as I have served at Ocean View Methodist Church.  It’s hard to imagine our life and family apart from this church but I am certain that the relationships will continue to grow and flourish for years to come.  My heart is filled with gratitude for all God has shown me over the years atOcean View Methodist.  JESUS and HIS LOVE is my banner and my victory.

Marriage and Missions

March 23, 2015

Last month as the Prince’s celebrated Valentine’s Day the predictable banter ensued between my husband and I where we tried to get the other person to plan a fancy date so we wouldn’t have to.  I got a babysitter and until hours before we had absolutely no plans for Valentine’s Day.  We eventually went on a (GREAT!) date but it took some mustered energy from us both.

As the Valentine’s weekend went by I watched through social media as friends in various stages of life posted about their Valentine’s day plans.  The single people either were silent or boldly posted pics of Netflix and wine parties.  The newly in love or married couples went on fancy dates and proudly displayed their bleeding love to the world (barf).  The parents with children were also silent OR just posted pictures of their ‘little valentine’ children who now fill their hearts (and time and emotional capacity and every word in their home).  It made me think about Casey and I and what makes it work for us now that we have been married almost THIRTEEN YEARS (GEEZ OLD PEOPLE ALERT!). Oh how different ‘love’ looks in the different seasons of our lives!!

Everyone is different, but for me, marriage is something I always want to enjoy and find life in, not just endure.  I am not happy to have just a life partner or best friend, I also want a lover and someone who pursues my heart.  I want my PRINCE (hah) and I want to be the PRINCESS (Sarah in Hebrew means princess… double barf).  What does this actually look like when you have two small kids and live a life of mission and ministry?? We are full-time missionaries and our lives are engrossed and overwhelmed with people and tasks and needs and voices and things to do.  How do we make it work and how do we keep the love alive?

GREAT QUESTION!

Well the easy answer is that we live by God’s grace EVERY DAY and it isn’t a fairy tale, it’s real life. But it’s honestly better than the fairy tale and worth the work and effort.  At the end of the worst day imaginable or the greatest thing ever, the person I want to most share it with is my husband and I call that a ‘win’ every time.  But marriage and missions means that our relationship is something that we work on just like we work on all the other things in our lives God has called us to.  God has called us to be parents.  God has called us to missions.  God has called us to Africa.  God has called us to love people.  God has called us to serve people.  God has called us to minister to people.  And God has called us to this marriage.  That means we must put in the effort and care and time and focus that we put into all the other things we are called to, maybe even MORE.

In the Prince’s world we take our marriage very seriously because it’s a huge part of our ministry.  The community we live in has a lot of broken families and hurting homes and they often look at us wondering if what we ‘preach’ is even real.  So we have to make sure that it’s real and we work hard on it.  We take dating seriously and spend as much time together as we possibly can because if we aren’t loving each other well then we can never love others well.

We love being together and love our lives together.  But love doesn’t come easy and we know that our love is a combination of a lot of work and God’s miraculous hand.

During a fundraiser event that we had in January a friend came up to us and shouted excitedly, “You guys are just the most perfect couple ever!”  I could only laugh because it was the most ridiculously thing I had ever heard.  I had no words.  Later I found myself thinking more about the ridiculousness and what ever gave her that crazy idea.  We are FAR FAR FAR from perfect but we ARE in love.

That same month I saw this great quote from Lisa Bevere and immediately sent it to Casey.

YES.

Our marriage is FAR from perfect but it is great and it is growing and we treasure one another.  We are on mission together and we are on mission love one another.  We love that mission.

One Year

March 17, 2015

Today is the day.

March 17, 2015 marks one year since our fateful day where we received Keller’s autism diagnosis.

One. Year.

What a difference a year makes.

A year ago we had a little boy who didn’t say any words and mostly communicated through grunts and cries.

A year later we have a little boy who talks and laughs and sings and dances and points and TRULY COMMUNICATES.  Hallelujah.

A year ago we had a little boy who wouldn’t make eye contact and literally screamed when people entered his presence.

A year later we have a boy who has FRIENDS at school, in our community, adults who love him, and new admirers daily.

A year ago we had a little boy who was obsessed with trucks and elephants and nothing more and who would choose those objects above all else.

A year later we have a little boy who still adores trucks and elephants along with cars, all animals, dinosaurs, books, bikes, and almost any other toy you can think of, but MOST enjoys his toys when he can play WITH another person.

A year ago we had a little boy who wouldn’t eat hardly anything and we have battled with food every single day.

A year later we have a little boy who still struggles with food but is trying new food all the time and learning to love family dinner time.

A year ago we had two parents who were overcome with grief and fear by the word ‘autism’ and who felt their dreams and hopes were dying right before them.

A year later we have two parents who are filled with HOPE and VISION for their son and trust in a God who promises the best and abundant life for our little boy.

A year ago we had a diagnosis that rocked our world and threatened everything we knew.

A year later we have a diagnosis that is a gift, a challenge, a tool, and something we embrace so that we can help Keller to be the best little man he can be.  We live with joy, hope, and trust in God’s promises.

WHAT A DIFFERENCE A YEAR CAN MAKE.

God gave me this scripture at the beginning of 2014:

“The LORD is my strength and my song; he has given me victory” – Psalm 118:14

Even in my darkest days God was always my strength and song and truly He has already given us victory.  What a year it has been, one I will never forget.  I will SING from the rooftops of what God has done in this year.

Happy diagnosis day, Keller James Prince.

We love you and love this journey with you.

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